"Dear Mr. Wilson:
I am in a difficult situation. About two years ago a coworker gave me a copy of your little book, Warning! Revelation is about to be fulfilled. Your explanation of the seven trumpets, the full cup principle and God’s Sabbath rest made sense to me. I cannot explain the impact this little book had on my thinking.
It was like having a light bulb switched on. Then, I read your book, Jesus: The Alpha and The Omega and numerous articles posted on your website. Suddenly, a number of Bible topics harmonized together in ways that I did not anticipate or expect. I am constantly amazed how everything in the Bible fits together. The Bible has become a new book for me. Things are so much clearer now.
I was raised in a Pentecostal church and my husband was raised in a divided Baptist home (his mother went to church, but his father was not spiritually interested). After marriage, we did not attend church for a few years. One day, we were invited by some neighbors to attend a church service and after a few months, we joined a Southern Baptist church. My husband and I attended numerous Bible study classes and eventually, we became leaders in the church. I resigned from my duties this past December with the excuse that I needed a break.
Even though I was a whole-hearted-born-again Baptist for eighteen years, there were things about church doctrine that "quietly" bothered me. I ignored these issues because we were busy and we had an active church life. I was happy and fulfilled being a Southern Baptist until I read your books. Now that I have spent a couple years investigating the Bible from another perspective, I can see that Baptists "cherry pick" the Bible to make it say what we want to believe. (In fact, it seems that all Christians do this unintentionally and this explains why Protestants are so divided over what the Bible teaches.)
As you know, Southern Baptists are firmly opposed to the idea that Saturday is God’s holy day, and after studying and praying about this topic for several months, I am convinced that most Protestants, including Southern Baptists, are wrong about this. Even though I am not a Bible scholar, I now believe that Saturday is God’s holy day and the historical change from Sabbath to Sunday is easy to understand.
Of course, my friends think that I have become a legalist. But I clearly understand that salvation does not come through Sabbath observance or for that matter, the observance of any law, including the Ten Commandments, because we are saved through faith.
It is also clear to me that God writes His Ten Commandments in our hearts when we fully surrender to His will. Like King David, I tell God, "I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart." (Psalm 40:8) I believe the fourth commandment is as important as the other nine and my observance of God’s Sabbath has created a serious problem in our marriage and I don’t know what to do.
My husband does not understand what has happened to me. He is a wonderful man and we have three precious teenagers. He is Scripturally frustrated and socially embarrassed because of me. At times he is angry and at other times sympathetic. Obviously, our paths have diverged and I am concerned about our relationship and the impact this is having on our children.
Spiritually speaking, I would say the main difference between us right now is that I search the Bible to discover what it teaches rather than using a few texts to defend what I was taught to believe. Our closest friends are also frustrated with me since I no longer attend church. Relationships with church friends are strained and this annoys my husband. Two friends told me that I should submit to my husband’s will on religious matters. They believe that if I will submit to his authority, God will hold him – not me – responsible for going against my conviction.
My husband agrees with them. He thinks that I have become rebellious (not living in submission to his will) and legalistic (working my way to Heaven). My husband can’t see how the whole Southern Baptist Church, including men like the Rev. Billy Graham, could be wrong about the holiness of the Sabbath. My husband says that I have become a stumbling block for our children and since I no longer attend church on Sunday, he says that I am violating "the assembling of ourselves together" on Sunday.
I don’t know if you understand the emphasis and importance of wives submitting to their husbands in the Southern Baptist Church, but I need help with Ephesians 5:22-24. My husband uses this text to prove that I am in rebellion. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24, emphasis mine)
How can I honor the Lord by doing what I believe is right (observing His Sabbath) without dishonoring my husband who says I am not in submission to his authority?
Thank you for your e-mail. As I see it, you and your husband have two problems. You have a social problem and you have a theological problem and these two problems are intertwined. If I understand correctly, the two of you enjoyed religious harmony for many years. You went to church together, your closest friends were church friends, and your lives centered around the Baptist church and its activities. Now, because of your choices, there is a big void in your husband’s life. Your thirst for knowledge from God’s Word and your willingness to uphold the fourth commandment has terminated your church life and ruined your husband’s social life.
When the totality of a marriage is shattered by a spouse, the situation can spiral into a meltdown, but it doesn’t have to end that way. I hope that you will do whatever you can, both in words and actions, to assure your husband that even though you have undergone an unexpected spiritual change, your love and affection for him and your children has never been stronger.
Similarly, I hope your husband will love you enough to give you due consideration. I hope he will listen to your discoveries in the Bible by giving you several heart-to-heart opportunities to present your case. Of course, he can’t read your mind or understand your convictions, but he should be able to eventually understand your logic, your sincerity, and your devotion to God and His Word – even if he honestly disagrees.
Finally, even if you end up agreeing to disagree on religious matters, you can maintain a good marriage by strengthening ties that bond you together. Remember when you were first married? Your lives did not center around the Baptist church and church friends, and I assume you were quite happy with each other before religion filled your lives.
Equals in Salvation
The doctrine of wives submitting to their husbands is complicated and it is often distorted. Before I jump into this topic, I need to highlight two points. First, when properly understood, the doctrine of submission has nothing to do with salvation. It has to do with attitude. Second, the Bible teaches that men and women are equals when it comes to salvation’s process. Please consider these seven questions:
1. – In terms of salvation, is there any difference between God saving a man and God saving a woman? No. As sinners, males and females are equals. We have the same need for a Savior. At Calvary, Jesus redeemed the whole world; this means men as well as women. (1 John 2:2)
2. – In terms of rebirth, is there any difference between what is required of a man and a woman to enter Heaven? No. Men and women are equals. Everyone has to be born again in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven. (John 3:5)
3. – If a woman obeys her husband 100% of the time, will her submission save her from hell? No, women are not saved through works (obedience) and neither are men. Men and women are equals. Salvation comes through faith for all mankind. (Ephesians 2:8,9)
4. – Will a woman go to hell because she was not submissive to her husband? No. Wives are not subservient to their husbands. Women and men are human beings. Human beings have the ability to think for themselves, make decisions, and take action. Both have reasoning powers and both are accountable to God for their actions.
A husband is not God. In fact, the first commandment requires men and women to love God and to submit to God first! (Exodus 20:3, Matthew 22:37,38) Jesus is the judge of mankind. He determines who will be saved and lost. (2 Corinthians 5:10) Husbands have no role in the judgment of their wives and the opposite is also true.
5. – Will a woman escape condemnation if she obeys her husband rather than God? No. If a woman chooses to disobey God and obey her husband, she has put her husband’s authority higher than God’s authority and this is blasphemy. When men and women don’t do what they know is right, God holds us accountable for sin. (James 4:17)
6. – Can a husband save his wife from the penalty for sin? No. Can a wife save her husband from the penalty for sin? No. Everyone has sinned. (Romans 3:23) Sinners cannot save sinners. Sinners may help and encourage other sinners to receive Christ, but that is all sinners can do.
7. – If a husband is saved, does this mean his submissive wife will be saved? No. God judges everyone as individuals. (2 Corinthians 5:10, Eccelsiastes 12:13,14)
After examining these seven points, we are forced to conclude on the authority of Scripture that in terms of salvation, a husband and a wife are equals. God treats men and women the same. Women do not need a husband or a priest to represent them before God. Like men, women can boldly approach the Throne of Grace on their own. (Hebrews 4:16)
Men and women cannot provide salvation or take salvation from each other. The bottom line is clear: In matters of salvation, men and women are equals.
If the doctrine of submission has no bearing on salvation, what is its purpose? The point of wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives as Christ loves His church is "happiness." When a man and a woman love each other wholeheartedly – they desire to get (or stay) married and live happily ever after. As long as there is mutual submission to each other, there is happiness! But two sinners cannot remain in mutual submission very long, and this is the root problem.
The Stature of Women in Paul’s Day
This isn’t the place to write an essay on the suffrage and submission of women, but history indicates that no group of people has been mistreated more than women. If you want to understand the stature of women at the time of Christ, study the treatment of women under the former Taliban government in Afghanistan. When Jesus walked on Earth, women were little more than a subculture of slaves. They were not permitted to own property, obtain an education, or hold public office.
They were not permitted to speak publicly. If a woman was brought before the Jewish court (the Sanhedrin), one of the judges was appointed to speak for her. Women were not deemed intelligent enough to converse with anyone other than their husbands or other women, and no man wanted to be publicly humiliated by an ignorant or impudent wife.
The point is that in Bible times, a woman’s stature was slightly better than that of an animal. Generally speaking, she was a piece of "property" that required a dowery (a payment to the man who would take her), a domestic slave, and a means for procreation. These details are important to understand because the stature of women affected Paul’s ministry and two thousand years later, Paul’s treatment of women is often misunderstood.
Because Christianity was born in the cradle of Judaism, Paul was forced to deal with a number of issues that differentiated Christian doctrine from Jewish doctrine. Paul’s biggest problem when working among the Jews was that of differentiating salvation through faith versus salvation through works.
The Jews were so biased toward legalism in culture and religion that teaching salvation through faith to them was almost impossible. Paul’s biggest problems when working among the Gentiles was their devotion to false gods, the sophistry of Gnosticism, and their addiction to sexual immorality.
As Jews and Gentiles joined the Christian church, Paul faced a new problem – the problem of getting Jews and Gentiles to worship together. For example, there was a constant conflict over circumcision. Gentile converts to Christianity regarded circumcision as a barbaric practice and unnecessary whereas Jewish converts regarded circumcision as a sign of God’s election and necessary for salvation.
There were other issues such as eating meat that had been offered to idols and sexual immorality. Had it not been for the unusual presence of Holy Spirit power during the first century A.D., the Christian church would have suffocated in a sea of problems.
Early Christians found Paul’s reasoning on various topics sometimes difficult to understand, and early on, Peter noticed a tendency to distort Paul’s writings. "Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." (2 Peter 3:15,16)
The book of Acts tells us that Paul traveled widely around the Roman Empire setting up Christian churches. Whenever a new church was formed, Paul imposed a set of rules on that church. These rules reflected (a) Paul’s view of what church order according to the gospel should be, (b) Paul’s understanding of the plight of women, and (c) Paul’s recommendations to Jews and Gentiles who suffered persecution for following Christ.
These things are said because many well meaning people distort Paul’s writings today. They take Paul’s writings at face value, having no concern for the time, place, or circumstances. Such an approach to Paul’s writings is foolish, immature, and unacceptable.
When a person studies the Bible, he has to understand what was said, why it was said, where it was said, to whom it was said, and the circumstances under which it was said. I am emphasizing this point because Paul sometimes speaks for himself and not for the Lord. Consider the following three instances:
"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. . . . But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.
A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches." (1 Corinthians 7:12-17, italics and underlines mine)
"I [Paul] do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner." (1 Timothy 2:12-14, insertion, italic, and underline mine)
"I [Paul] also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission." (1 Timothy 2:9-11, insertion, italic, and underline mine)
The Necessity of Government
After Paul became a Christian, his position on the necessity of government changed. Whereas the Jews were in a constant state of revolt against the Romans (and the Jewish nation was ultimately destroyed by the Romans in A.D. 70), Paul saw the hand of God working through all governments, even the Roman government.
He told the believers in Rome, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves." (Romans 13:1,2 italics and underlines mine)
This counsel was a hard pill for early Christians to swallow because the Romans hated the Christians just like they hated the Jews. Let me be clear: Paul is not suggesting in Romans 13 that it was permissible for a Christian to disobey the law of God in order to obey Roman law. Never. Man’s law is beneath God’s law. (Acts 5:29) The higher law always comes first. Paul means that as far as possible, Christians are to obey and respect the laws of their government because government is God’s creation.
I have presented Romans 13 to show that Paul understood the necessity of government (law and order) for nations, home, and churches. All levels of government require leadership in order to maintain order, accountability, and responsibility. This need for leadership becomes apparent when two or more people form a group, and leadership cannot exist without someone becoming voluntarily submissive. As Paul traveled about, Paul appointed elders to lead the churches (1 Timothy 5:17, Titus 1:5) and church members were encouraged to "submit to each other" in love for the benefit of the church. (Ephesians 5:21)
When it comes to submission, Paul leaves no wiggle room about Christian behavior. Christians are to obey God, their governments, and their elders. What should be the nature of this submission? Is it not love? Peter told slaves to submit to their masters with all due respect! "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God." (1 Peter 2:18,19)
Given the status of women in Paul’s day, Paul used "the law of Moses" to support his premise that women should not disrupt meetings or speak out in public meetings. "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches.
They are not allowed to speak [because they are uneducated], but must be in submission [to their husbands], as the Law* [of Moses] says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman [to embarrass her husband and family] to speak in the church." (1 Corinthians 14:33-35, insertions, italics, and underlines mine)
(*Note: Paul evidently refers to Genesis 3:16. "To the woman he [the Lord] said, ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’ " (Genesis 3:16, insertion, italics, and underlines mine))
Given the stature of women in Paul’s day – a subculture of illiterate people, having no human rights or formal instruction in God’s Word, Paul did not want newly formed churches destroyed in a free-for-all caused by the freedom which Christianity brought to men and women. So, he appealed for church order in a variety of ways.
Look at the bigger picture: "What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. If anyone speaks in a tongue, two – or at the most three – should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and God.
Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. And if a revelation comes to someone who is sitting down, the first speaker should stop. For you can all prophesy in turn so that everyone may be instructed and encouraged.
The spirits of prophets are subject to the control of prophets [In other words, a prophet’s mouth is subject to a prophet’s will, so the prophet must restrain himself and wait for his turn to speak.] For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches.
They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church." (1 Corinthians 14:26-35, insertions, italics, and underlines mine)
Before his conversion, Paul had been a servant of Judaism. Now, that he was a servant of Jesus Christ, he was in a position to see the difference in masters. Which master offered more joy? Clearly there are two forms of government. One form is based on love (voluntary submission), the other is based on force (forced submission).
The difference in attitude between these two forms of government is enormous. Because Christianity is a religion based on love and righteousness, Paul wanted Christians to understand that love is the fulfilling of the law. (Romans 13:10) In other words, when we do the things required in the law because of love, we fulfill the intent of the law! When we do the things required by the law in order to receive salvation, that is legalism – forced submission.
Paul understood that a woman’s submission to her husband has to spring from love. To keep men from abusing their authority over women, he put husbands in a difficult position. Paul says that men must love their wives "as Christ loved the church." Submission to a wife was unthinkable in Paul’s day. Christ submitted to the death of a criminal in order to save the church. The point is that Paul elevates the stature of women by requiring men to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
This means submitting to one another, mutual submission. "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." (Ephesians 5:19-28)
Pulling This Together
Jennifer, I know my lengthy response may be a bit overwhelming, but I hope you and your husband can see three things at this point. First, Paul’s statements regarding the mutual submission of husbands and wives has nothing to do with salvation. Second, Paul’s church rules reflect the stature of women in his day. Third, Paul elevated the stature of women when he commanded men to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and if that wasn’t enough, Paul says a husband is to love his wife just as he loves his own body! Even though men and women are not identical, they are equals. Mutual submission is the way of love and the result is happiness.
Jennifer, since your husband is a Christian, he knows that he is not your God, your Creator, your Redeemer, or your conscience. He also knows that you are not subservient to him. You, Jennifer, have been bought with a price. You are not your own. You belong to Christ. (1 Corinthians 6:19,20)
You were created in God’s image just like your husband. (Genesis 1:26,27) You and your husband are equals in God’s sight. (Galatians 3:28) You are a human being having inalienable rights bestowed upon you by your Creator. You have a conscience and you can blaspheme the Holy Spirit just as he can. (Matthew 12:31,32)
Even though he may honestly disagree with your newfound religious views, I hope he will honor and respect your right to worship God as you deem appropriate. If the table was turned, I am sure he would appreciate the same respect and religious freedom. Religious persecution occurs whenever a person is punished or threatened for worshiping God according to the dictates of conscience.
Unfortunately, the Baptist church takes a position on women that is similar to that of Catholics and Moslems. Baptists, Catholics, and Moslems exclude women from their clergy for different reasons, but the result is the same. Baptists often use the argument that since the Bible is silent about the ordination of women, then the church must remain silent as well. This approach to the topic reveals there is no moral defense against the ordination of women. Consider this argument: The Bible says nothing about abolishing the practice of slavery.
In fact, as we have already seen, Peter encouraged slaves to obey their masters (1 Peter 2:18) and Paul even returned a runaway slave to his owner. (Philemon 1) Prior to the Civil War, some Southern preachers defended slavery on the basis of silence. The Bible says nothing about abolishing slavery!
This takes us back to the point that I made earlier. People are still distorting Paul’s writings (and other Scriptures). They approach Paul’s writings without concern for time, place, or circumstances. Such an approach to Paul’s writings is foolish, immature, and unacceptable.
Knowing what we do today, it is easy to see the wisdom of Paul’s ways. Fortunately, the stature of women has improved in many countries although progress has been slow. Protestantism broke the chains of 1,260 years of Catholic dominion and the Dark Ages ended. Protestantism brought democracy to the world and democracy brought education to men and women.
Today, billions of women are educated and well informed and if they can ably serve as Prime Ministers (Golda Meir and Margaret Thatcher) and if they can manage huge corporations like Hewlett Packard (Carly Fiorina) and political campaigns to be president and vice president of the United States (Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin), they are capable of managing a church and serving the Lord as ordained ministers of the gospel if men will put aside some prejudice and ego.
I know that Baptists and Catholics encourage women to live in submission to the authority of their husbands and inherently, this sounds biblical, but this doctrine is a toxic doctrine based on a distortion of Paul’s writing. It harms the stature of women unless the whole truth is told.
The whole is that Paul demands mutual submission to each other. When the Lord told Eve that her desire would be to her husband and that he would rule over her, the Lord did not give men authority over women. Moslems believe that men have the right to beat their wives into submission if they do not voluntarily submit. (Quran 4:34) This is not the way of Christ. Look again at the Word of God, ". . . . Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16, italics mine)
Adam and Eve were equals before sin and Adam and Eve were equals after sinning. Remember, equals are not necessarily identical. Robert is not identical to Mike, but they are equals. Mike is not identical to his wife, Reba, but they are equals. Recognizing the inherent selfishness of the carnal nature, and recognizing the need for governance in every household, God gave women (through Eve) a predisposition – a desire – to acquiesce to their husband’s will.
The Lord did this for two reasons. First, mutual submission is necessary for two people to live together. Second, the Lord knows that men can be difficult to deal with emotionally. So, He gave Eve a tender heart for her husband, a desire to get along, because this makes for a happy home. (Remember the story of Abigail who was married to a fool? 1 Samuel 25)
One more thing. You mentioned that your husband argues that you should not quit going to church. The following text is exalted by some churches (including Southern Baptists) as though it were one of the Ten Commandments: "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25, KJV)
Paul was moved to write these words because the early church was a church in conflict. When Jews became Christians, they brought their religious baggage into the church. When Gentiles joined the church, they brought their religious baggage into the church and when these diverse people came together for worship, there was more conflict than peace in the early church.
This conflict caused some people to quit attending church and Paul realized that isolation from the body of Christ would prove to be harmful. Consider this: If you remove an ember from a fire, the isolated ember quickly cools. The point here is that corporate worship is important.
For eighteen years you were blessed through corporate worship at the Baptist church. Now, you are looking for another corporate body with which to worship. Your husband needs to understand that corporate worship at the Baptist church is not good for you for at least three reasons: First, your understanding of what the Bible teaches and the will of God has changed. Attending church with him now is a lot like worshiping with the Church of Christ: Yes, your body is in church but your heart and mind are elsewhere.
Second, since you are a former leader in your husband’s church and you have publicly rejected certain doctrines of the Baptist faith, sitting among your "former" friends is disruptive (maybe disgusting) to them and undesirable for you. Last, in an effort to comfort your husband, you may want to tell your husband that you will be happy to go with him on special occasions.
Jennifer, your children are studying you. They have not seen anyone living by faith. They need to see that living by faith is problematic. Faith puts every follower of Christ in a difficult position and this is why living by faith is so hard to do!
Every born-again Christian wants to please God by doing what is right, and since there are differences on what is believed to be right, even among Christians, there is conflict. Often, living by faith requires doing whatever we can to accommodate (without compromise) those who don’t understand God’s will as we do.
Currently, some twenty-eight million Chinese Christians worship in home churches each week because they are not permitted to meet publicly. Some day, I suspect the same will take place in this country. Bottom line: You can agree with your husband that Christians should participate in corporate worship per Hebrews 10:25, but the more important theme for all of us is worshiping God in spirit and truth. Since you are convicted of the Sabbath, you must honor God by keeping His Sabbath. Jesus said, "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." (John 4:23)
In closing, I have three short statements that I hope you and your husband will consider:
1. Faith is not a denomination.
Faith is a way of life. The biblical definition of faith means obeying God without regard for the consequences. (See Daniel 3 and Hebrews 11.)
2. Others may – you cannot.
Whenever a person is confronted with God’s sovereign will and he is placed under conviction by the Holy Spirit, that person must not violate the Holy Spirit because this is a test of faith. In other words, it is possible for one person to have a conviction that others around do not share.
Paul wrote, "One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him." (Romans 14:2,3, italics and underlines mine)
3. A woman’s salvation is not determined by her husband.
The New Testament is clear: No one stands between a woman and her Savior, Jesus Christ. Women have access to salvation through faith in Jesus just like men. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28, italics and underlines mine)
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16, italics and underlines mine)
God’s claim on us is higher than any other. No man or woman can permit anyone to stand in his/her way of doing what he/she believes God wants him/her to do. Even though happiness in a home or church comes through loving submission, our first and highest love must be reserved for God. Jesus said, "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)
I hope this helps!